How to give better compliments

Do you want to be known for giving basic compliments? no. Read this...

Lucky for you I have come up with this framework on how to give better compliments.

Emilia and I joked on the EIQ live the other day that we might run a body image workshop and not mention body image once.

The root cause of most body image issues is an over emphasis on the importance of how you look.

You’ve been bombarded with messages from a young age drilling home the importance of how someone looks above all else.

It manifests in the way we compliment too. How often do you compliment people on the way they look (positively or negatively) in comparison to WHO they are, HOW they make you feel, WHAT they do.

We can blame social media, magazines, TV shows, societal ideals for this but that won’t get you very far. That probably isn’t going to change anytime soon.

But what YOU can change is how much importance you place on the way you look, how you talk to yourself, your inner monologue, how you complement and give praise to yourself and to others.

Positive comments on the way someone looks also promote body image issues. I am not saying never tell anyone they look beautiful but compliment them 10x more frequently on the who/how/what not simply appearance.

Here is the framework:

WHO they are (values, energy, ambition)

HOW they make you feel (happy, loved, empowered, confident, inspired )

WHAT they do (skills, career, talents, intelligence, impact on others)

Take home:

Aim for more compliments about who they are, what they do, how they make you feel.

Less on how they look.