I’m embarrassed about this now but...
I have to admit that other peoples success used to really trigger me.
I’m embarrassed about this now but I have to admit that other peoples success used to really trigger me.
I would log on to social media and feel sh*t because I’d see someone else doing something amazing.
I was insecure I felt like other people winning diminished my own achievements.
(Side note: The truth is your reality is never going to live up to someone else’s highlight reel.
You see the good and bad in your own life, you have the full context but you only get to see the good in other people’s. You see the overnight success but you don’t see the years of failed attempts before that.)
Don’t get me wrong I was still happy to see other’s succeed but there was always a twinge of oh what does that mean for me, I should be doing better… I wasn’t 100% happy for them, there was an element of feeling bitter…
One day I simply decided I hated feeling like that.
That it wasn’t the kind of person I wanted to be.
It made me resentful, unproductive and sucked the enjoyment out of the work I love.
I made a conscious decision that I would champion everyone. That when I saw someone achieve something I would think that’s incredible! what an achievement rather than my old response of making it about me & what I lacked or why I wasn’t achieving the same.
In fact, it now motivates me - if they can do it then I bet I can too. I hold the belief that people ahead of you have usually practiced more, put in more reps & worked harder (that’s not always true but the belief promotes a positive growth mindset).
I used to worry that if I cheered on and promoted other' people’s success it would make them appear better than me.
But then I looked at everyone I knew who did this.
I thought MORE highly of them, not less. In fact, they are two of the most incredible women I know and they constantly inspire me to be more like this.
When I started AFM (the mentorship I run to help incredible coaches build their businesses and help more people).
This is the ethos I wanted to live by.
And now it’s one of the biggest unique selling points at AFM.
We all support each other.
You won’t find a group of more supportive people,
No one will back you or cheer you on more,
No one will go out of their way to help you even when they stand to gain nothing.
And the beauty is that when everyone in the group takes on that ethos, everyone wins.
If you feel like I used to, it is as simple as DECIDING to change.
(simple not easy I still have to notice a trigger, call myself on it and change it at times)
I will leave you with 2 quotes & 2 tasks:
Quotes:
1) Lighting someone else’s candle doesn’t dull your own flame.
2) A rising tide floats all ships.
Tasks:
1) The next time you feel slightly triggered by someone else’s success - congratulate them on it. It will make you feel better about it too, trust me!
2) If you’re a coach - book in a call with me here. I want to help you!